What women want

#1 Foreplay. It is not a privilege, it is a birthright.

#2 If you take us out to a fancy restaurant, don’t try and steer us away from the lobster.

#3 Less carry on about our power and sanctity as being lifegivers, and let’s get some reliable and affordable childcare.

#4 Equal work for equal pay. Look around you guys. Look at, say, Kevin, the brain-dead tosser in the cubicle next to you. You could shake Kevin because he is such a slack and worthless idiot. Now imagine making 30% less than Kevin.

#5 This one is very important. When you’re having sex with us, don’t ask “Who’s your daddy?” Even as a joke. It’s not funny.

#6 And while we’re on the subject of sex, don’t ask us if we’ve come. You’re a big boy Clouseau, you should be able to tell.

#7 A law passed that makes it compulsory for all over-the-hill rockstars to have women their own age in their videos.

#8 When our mouths move, pay attention. Words could be coming out. Words are kind of important.

#9 Don’t tell us how to merge and we won’t tell you how to ask for directions.

#10 When we catch you cheating on us, and we cut your dick off in your sleep, take it like a man.

So there you have it – we want equal pay, fair treatment, respect, patience, and a genuine effort at understanding who we really are.

And if that’s too much, how about a diamond the size of your head?

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Comments

  1. LOL. My latest lesson has been the yelling screaming man who phoned me about why he's not paying his outstanding invoices. With his words of me being unprofessional ringing in my ears, I hung up on him before I burst out laughing. Then he sent me a text message to apologise. Oh grow up princess! What women want … respect is a good place to start.

  2. Right on Bron!!!!

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