10 steps to self-care

self-care

#1 If t feels wrong, don’t do it

#2 Say exactly what you mean

#3 Trust your instincts

#4 Never speak bad about yourself

#5 Never give up on your dreams

#6 Be brave enough to say “yes”

#7 Be brave enough to say “no”

#8 Be kind to yourself

#9 Let go of what you can’t control

#10 Stay away from negativity and drama as much as you can

12 things happy people do differently

12 things happy people do differently

#1 Express gratitude When you appreciate what you have, what you have appreciates in value. If we aren’t thankful for what we already have, we will have a hard tine ever being happy.

#2 Cultivate optimism People who think optimistically see the world as a place packed with endless opportunities, especially in trying times.

#3 Avoid over-thinking and social comparison Comparing yourself to others can be poisonous, The only person you should compare to is yourself before now.

#4 Practice acts of kindness Selflessly helping someone is a very powerful way to feel good inside.

#5 Nurture social relationships The happiest people on the planet are the ones who have deep, meaningful relationships

#6 Develop strategies for coping It helps to have healthy strategies for coping pre-rehearsed, on-call and at your disposal

#7 Learn to forgive Harbouring feelings of hatred and ill-will is horrible for your well-being

#8 Increase “flow” experiences Flow is a state in which it feels like time has stood still. It’s when you’re so focused on what you’re doing that you become one with the task. Nothing is distracting you or competing with your focus.

#9 Savour life’s little joys Take pleasure from the little things, like being up early enough to see the sunrise, or lots of green lights on the way to work or flowers in a garden. Deep happiness cannot happen without slowing down to enjoy.

#10 Commit to your goals Magical things start to happen when we commit ourselves to doing whatever it takes to get to where we want to be. Remember, a goal without a deadline is merely a wish.

#11 Practice spirituality When we practice spirituality, we realise that life is way bigger than us. We give up the silly notion that we are the mightiest thing ever. It’s good to be humble now and then.

#12 Take care of your body Taking care of your body is crucial to being the happiest person you can be.

8 foods you should stop eating now

Rice snacks
It doesn’t matter if rice has been made into a snack bar, cake, puff or crisp, rice is a dense source of high glycaemic index carbohydrate, which means that it makes our blood glucose levels rapidly increase, along with the hormone insulin, which also promotes fat storage in the body.

White bread
While it may claim to have extra fibre and nutrients added, white bread is still not as good nutritionally as wholegrain bread. If you must go white, at least choose sourdough.

Flavoured water
Given that a single serve of flavoured water can contain as much as five teaspoons of sugar, you are best to get your vitamins from grains, fruits and vegetables, and leave your water as nature intended it.

Muffins and banana bread
If you consider that the average muffin or slice of banana bread contains more than 60g of total carbohydrate, or the equivalent of four slices of bread, 20-30g of fat and at least four teaspoons of sugar, it is safe to say that there is nothing healthy about these café options.

Extruded cheese snacks
Puffs, rings or balls made using refined carbs, added MSG and lots of oil will never be a good choice, especially for children who need snacks that are as plain and minimally processed as possible.

Frozen yoghurt
It may sound healthy but sweet yoghurts can have as much sugar as ice-cream and just as many calories, especially when extra syrups, nuts and treats are added.

Chocolate nut spread

With the first few ingredients listed as sugar and vegetable oil, chocolate spread contains a lot more bad fat than it does good fat from nuts.

Muesli bars
There is a big difference between natural unprocessed muesli and the processed mix of honey, sugar, dried fruit, fillers, gums and coatings that are found in most commercially available muesli bars – which also combine to give to 3-4 teaspoons of sugar per bar.

Thanks to Susie Burrell for this article.

20 instructions for life (in no particular order)

  1. rulesStop worrying about how your kids are going to turn out. Once they become adults it’s up to them to get their lives sorted. All you can do is arm them with good principles, teach them right from wrong, make sure they brush their teeth and show them how wonderful it is to love.

  2. When faced with a health problem, get a few opinions. You may have been seeing your doctor since you were in the womb, but you’re entitled to have the broadest knowledge possible.

  3. Never be afraid to say I don’t know, or I’m sorry, or I love you, or I need help. Or I made a mistake.

  4. Sleep with a pen and paper beside your bed. When an idea hits you at 3am, or you remembered you need to do something the next day, scribble it down and then your mind will rest and you can go back to sleep.

  5. If someone is telling you a story about something great or something funny that happened to them, don’t be in a rush to come over the top with your own story. Let them have their moment in the sun, don’t rain on their parade. There’s plenty of time later for you to tell your story.

  6. When you get a crappy email, give yourself at least one hour before you respond. Overnight if you can. You may have been provoked, but provoking that person back just makes the problem circular. And when you respond, start with “Dear X, thanks for your email”. You’ll be surprised how setting a friendly tone can disarm the other person.

  7. It’s all well and good to marry someone you are hopelessly in love with, or someone with whom you have great sex. Or makes you laugh or has lots of money. But if you really want a life partner, pick someone who doesn’t ask you to sacrifice too much of yourself to secure the relationship. You were fine as you were before that person came along. You don’t need to change for them.

  8. Read to your children. Sing to your children. Listen to your children. In ten years from now, it won’t matter that the dishes weren’t washed or the sheets changed. It will matter that you all headed outside in the rain to kick water in the gutter.

  9. Don’t ever watch sausages being made.

  10. Go on every date you’re asked. Doesn’t matter if he’s too short, too dull or too old. You don’t have to sleep with him, just have a coffee. You don’t know if you may end up with a long term friend, or get further introductions to other guys, or even opportunities for business or travel. Don’t limit your experiences. And a coffee only takes 15 minutes.

  11. When you’re an overnight guest, don’t just make the bed in the morning. Ask your host for clean sheets and do the job properly. Chances are once you’ve left, your host would only have to strip it down and put fresh sheets on herself.

  12. You never need that last drink.

  13. You always need sunscreen. Even in winter. Put it on the back of your hands when you’re driving. Put it all around your neck and décolletage.

  14. Don’t think a higher price always means higher quality. But if you’re shopping for an item, be it a jacket, a lounge suite, a car or whiskey, that you think is going to be around for more than five years, buy the best you can afford.

  15. Don’t discuss business in the lift. You never know who might overhear you. If you’re going to have a good bitch about someone at work, take a look around first to make sure the coast is clear. You never know who might be listening and reporting back.

  16. Commit yourself to constant self-improvement. Learn to cook a curry from scratch, jog five kilometres without stopping, ballroom dance or meditate. Rid words like “try” and “should” from your vocabulary. Smile all the time. Write affirmations and goals and read them every day. With a smile.

  17. Learn to forgive. Forgiveness is simply accepting that you can’t change the past. No one can change the past.

  18. Give people a second chance. But not a third.

  19. Never deprive someone of hope. It might be all they have.

  20. Lend only books, CDs and DVDs you never want to see again

5 job interview tips

Five questions to ask at your next job interview:

1) What do you expect me to accomplish in the first two to three months? For most roles, new employees aren’t expected to be incredibly productive for the first three months, as this is their training and probationary period. By asking this question in the interview, you are demonstrating your eagerness to hit the ground running and be productive as soon as possible.

2) What does a top performer look like in your team? This is a great question. It shows you are thinking about being in this team long-term, and how you might be able to work towards becoming a top performer. It also allows you to determine whether you would be a good fit – if top performers are those that stay until 10pm each night and that’s not something that appeals to you, perhaps this isn’t the role for you after all.

3) What really drives results for this organisation? Your potential boss will be impressed with this little gem. It conveys that you are thinking about the company as a whole, and how you can contribute to its success – if your employer is successful, so are you in the long run.

4) What is the culture like in your team? This question shows you want to make sure you have a reasonable chance of fitting in with the other team members, which is important for everyone. You’ll be spending a lot of time with these people if you are appointed to the role, so it’s best to find out now if that time will be torturous or joyful.

5) How does the company deal with…? Every business faces challenges: technological changes, competitors entering the market, shifting economic trends. This is an opportunity to show you’ve done your research and highlight one area that stood out. By asking your interviewer how the business deals with these sorts of challenges, you will learn more about the stability of the company, and the way they conduct themselves in the marketplace. You want to ensure you share similar values with your employer – if you don’t agree with their aggressive approach to competitors, you won’t stay long in the role. Better to find out now than later.

You may not get time to ask all of these questions in your interview, but that’s ok – by asking any of them, you are demonstrating your thoughtfulness and maturity as a candidate, which can only improve your chances of success.