The eyebrows have it

eyebrows3There’s only one part of my body that I don’t want to be any thinner.

My eyebrows.

These bits of hair that sit above eyes are so important. It’s utterly correct when our eyebrows are called the frames of our faces.

For us women, our eyebrows are a hugely significant aspect of our appearance. They are one of the most defining features of our faces, and we pay a lot of attention to them. Keeping them in tip-top shape for me is an essential.

Especially because mine are blonde. So I spend a spend a lot of time and money getting them tinted.

And tattooed. Yep, I’ve taken the plunge. Those suckers sitting above my eyes are now inked baby. It’s kinda cool to finally, in my late 40s, be able to say “yes” when someone asks me if I’ve got a tattoo.

It all started about three or four years ago. I was getting my nails done and I made the most rookiest of rookie errors.

You see, I needed an eyebrow wax and tint. I do this every four weeks. Because they’re blonde, without the tint I resemble an alien with a pronounced forehead and mothership issues. If I don’t get around to having the tint, I am left with no option but to attempt to draw them in myself. This often results in hilarious outcomes, especially if I’m going out at night and am having a warm-up wine. It also doesn’t help that I usually need glasses for looking at things up close.

This also results in me wiping my brow because it’s hot or I’m laughing, and – whoosh – there go my eyebrows, or worse, there goes one of them and I look unbalanced. Which is easy to do when I’ve been drinking but not a look I’d aspire to longer term.

Now my usual plan of action is to attend with a supremely talented Chinese lady who waxes and plucks and tints with enormous concentration. There’s even some alignment thing with her ruler and the side of my nose. Not sure, but she says she does it to make sure they’re exactly even. That makes sense.

But on this particular day, at my nail place, I was desperately short of time, and desperately in need of eyebrow attention. As she’s filing and painting, my nail lady casts a casual wave to the corner of the room and says, “Bec over there can do your eyebrows.”

I said “sure”. And that’s where I went wrong.

Here’s a piece of advice that I really want you to take. So pay attention. Before you get your eyebrows done, take a long, hard look at the eyebrows of the lady who is attending to them, and let your feeling about that look be your decider.

Bec’s eyebrows weyebrows2ere thinner than Nicole Kidman. A fact I didn’t notice until after she’d done the wax and tint and joyfully handed me a mirror so I could admire her handiwork.

Pretty much three-quarters of my eyebrows were gone. Forty years of growing them, and in one heroic strip of wax, they were gone.

Now I also had eyebrows that were thinner than Nicole Kidman.

If this ever happens to you, let me be the first to tell you that your eyebrows never really “grow back”. You think they will – after all, the hair on your legs never stops sprouting, nor does that whisker that feels like a tree stump coming out of your chin.

Not so much with the eyebrows.

I laboured way with the tinting for a while. It failed. I tinted and pencilled and drew and whatever and it didn’t really work.

Of course my supremely talented Chinese lady was mortified. And a bit angry. Take Crayola to a Picasso and then get the artist to clean it up. That sort of thing.

So a year or so ago, I had my eyebrows tattooed. By the supremely talented Chinese lady. I can’t believe people do this for fun. That scratching, picking thing where the pain is so niggling I think I’m going nuts.

Then I’ve got three days of looking like Mal Maninga in his hey-day before I can put any sort of liquid over them and the colour begins to settle down.

But it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. Well, no… Marrying Alan was the best thing I’ve ever done. Oh and having Jade. And starting this blog.

Ok, it’s up there in the top ten.

Be kind to your eyebrows girls, because, like your knees, you will miss them if they’re gone.

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